Why do I continue to attract married men?
It is an age-old question echoed by women throughout the ages.
It is the central theme of countless books, movies, and on social media.
And the answer is rarely what a woman wants to hear.
On some level, married folks who habitually pursue other prospects need a boost or are searching for validation.
The mating dance is complicated, but if you add an individual who is unavailable at the onset, then everything loses meaning.
But why does it keep happening?
Chances are, it is not entirely your fault.
You are a great catch and deserve someone authentic and available.
How Do You Know When a Married Man Is Attracted to You?
It is usually easy to sus out if a married man is attracted to you. Once he decides he likes you and your company, he is fairly direct.
A married man with feelings will express them in some basic ways.
- He values your friendship.
- He compliments you.
- He spends time with you.
- He talks about his relationships.
- He flirts with you.
Also, look at his body language. It is the single strongest indicator of how he feels.
Subconsciously, our bodies react to the world around us. In poker, they are called tells.
And even though we become adept at hiding the most obvious, these tells, coupled with other non-verbal cues, can say a great deal about what someone thinks or how they feel.
If a married man is interested, he will find ways to get closer to you. He may touch your arm, place a hand on your back in a crowd, or sit facing you. These are all telltale signs of interest.
Surprisingly, if a married man is interested in a woman, he will draw her into his life by discussing marriage or children. He may even discuss his finances with you.
While this seems counterintuitive, the confidential nature of the subject shows his trust and interest in you.
Marriage is difficult. Temptation is everywhere, and no one can be happy and content 100% of the time. And then you walk in the door.
Why Do I Attract Married Men? 13 Possible Reasons
Do you often wonder, “Why are married men attracted to me?” Sometimes the answer is more straightforward than you realize.
Married men are attracted to you because you are attractive, intelligent, and exciting.
You bring something new or fresh into their world, and consciously or subconsciously, they want more.
So ask yourself, what do you want?
1. You are successful.
Money, sex, and power are intertwined. We see it daily on television, in politics, and Hollywood. Success and confidence are huge aphrodisiacs. If you radiate success and opportunity, chances are you will attract others.
Consider also that many married men have attained some success and would be less intimidated by your career path.
2. Your vulnerability is showing.
On the other hand, sometimes vulnerability is a draw. Men, by their very nature, want to help and fix things. And your state may attract a strong male who wants to help.
There is also a different type of man who can easily detect this and take advantage of it. You will need to understand the difference.
3. You are a challenge.
Men love a challenge. They don’t like someone who plays games, preferring someone who surprises them and keeps them on their toes. Play games, and a married man will likely walk away.
So if you are a beautiful, intelligent woman who is a catch, chances are you will have a married man or two wanting to spend time with you.
4. You fulfill the 80/20 rule.
This reason is a quirky one. The 80/20 rule states that people choose a mate that has 80% of the qualities they find desirable. Then, they look elsewhere for the other 20% – friends, acquaintances, business colleagues, and lovers.
The thought process is that if a person waits for the perfect mate, they may be waiting a lifetime. A married man may find you attractive because he sees that elusive 20%.
5. You are in a male-dominated world.
Sometimes a married man is attracted to you because you are just there. This opportunistic attraction is common if you work in a male-dominated industry. You may be the only woman at a retreat or on a board of directors.
It is also relatively common for women with hobbies or interests once attributed exclusively to men, such as extreme sports, aviation, or even hunting. Unflattering as that sounds, you may just be available.
6. You are independent.
An independent woman can be financially stable. But it can also signify you are a strong and sensible woman who makes her own decisions without relying on everyone else.
It’s a great place to be in life, and it is extraordinarily attractive to the opposite sex – like bees to honey. And married men are not immune to the attraction.
7. You are aloof.
If you have a reserved or unapproachable air, that may be a turn-off to younger, insecure guys, but it is a waving red flag to a more confident married man.
Whether you are just quiet and reserved, painfully shy, or truly standoffish, it does not matter.
Your icy facade may hide a passionate and vibrant personality, and that puzzle is attractive to married men.
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8. You prefer unavailable men.
One of the few reasons married men keep making a play for you is that you subconsciously want them to do so. Men who are emotionally or physically unavailable are a safety net against getting hurt.
Or you find them more direct, so you always know where you stand. It’s a complex situation that may require some work on your part to determine the root cause.
9. You are too trusting.
There is no such thing as a night in shining armor.
But, it is painfully obvious when you are desperate for love, approval, money, or a man in your life. And because a relationship with a married man seems easy and safe.
You may want to believe his story. This indecision signals that you are open to his advances and interested in a causal relationship.
10. You can keep a secret.
Confidence is essential in business and relationships. Married men are both impressed and attracted to women who understand the rules of the game and can keep secrets.
Successful women with high standards keep their lives private. And married men admire women that can manage life without announcing it to the world.
So, if you are good at keeping secrets or compartmentalizing your life, you may be attractive to unavailable men.
11. You like married men.
Married men are attractive. They may be more mature, advanced in their careers, and have a sense of responsibility.
Through experience, they understand women’s needs and desires, working hard to fulfill or please those they care about.
And there is nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who has feelings for him. That is how this whole love thing works. You are attracting married men because you are attracted to married men.
12. Your timing is right.
Most of the men you socialize with or work with are married, which is bound to happen. Of the many reasons why you might be attracting married men, one of the big ones is biology.
They enter a stage of life where they are looking, and you are there. Remember, you are a catch, and they are looking.
13. You are flirting back.
Why do I attract married men? Because you want to. You are signaling that you are looking, and if they care little for fidelity, they will show their interest.
But what do you really want? Understanding our intentions is vital in any relationship but imperative when dealing with a married man.
Yes, sometimes you meet the one, and they are married. But for the most part, attracting a married man has definite limitations on the relationship.
A married man will rarely upend his carefully constructed life for you. So why do it? Insecurity? Validation? Sound familiar?
What to Do When Married Men Are Attracted to You
Not all married men who flirt want sex or a relationship. Some men will play and tease to see if they can still attract a beautiful and desirable woman.
So if a married man is flirting, it can be for many reasons:
- gvfcdfdsaHe may be having harmless fun.
- He is unhappy at home.
- He is just being nice.
- He’s experiencing a midlife crisis and wants to feel young again.
- He wants an exciting, new sexual relationship.
Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated. Perhaps a married man flirts because he feels invisible at home. Or it could just be an opportunity and too much to drink.
Besides being a challenge, some married men flirt because it’s dangerous. There is a rush and sense of danger in putting their entire life on the line. It is a gamble, a dice throw that excites and arouses them.
But if you have attracted a married man’s attention and are looking to extricate yourself from the situation, try a few of these things.
- Ignore your feelings and him.
- Stop all contact, and avoid texting and calling.
- Mention his wife and kids as you talk with one another.
- Don’t touch as you speak.
- Avoid time alone.
- Ask him directly to back off.
Being attracted to someone is human. And unless you are actively pursuing a person, it is not your fault they are attracted to you. So stop worrying about it. Live your life well.
And when it comes to relationships, try following the Golden Rule – do unto others as you would have them do unto you.