We all love to be in love.
But if there is an age difference between a man and a woman, there can be a few issues.
And when that gap is ten years or more, phrases like spring-autumnal, gold digger, or even father-figure often are used to describe the relationship.
Social objections aside, loving an older man can result in a satisfying, supportive, and lifelong partnership.
But how to tell when an older man is attracted to you?
The signs may differ from standard dating norms when seeing an older man.
At least, in the beginning, the relationship may not follow traditional rules, and it is probably more difficult to tell if he is attracted to you.
Do Older Guys Fall in Love Faster?
Despite what we’ve been told, men and women are neurologically similar — meaning, our brains are wired in relatively the same ways.
However, current research says it takes men 97 days versus 139 days for women to say “I love you.” They may not fall in love faster, but they certainly say that all-important phrase first.
The primary difference between men and women in a relationship is expectations – what they want from the other person or out of the relationship.
Men, young or old, are just big softies.
But in these relationships, there are several older men attraction signs not evident with younger, less experienced men.
In fact, older men:
- are usually more experienced in relationships
- know what they want and don’t want
- have a willingness to commit more quickly
- know physical attraction is not the only factor in a relationship
17 Signs An Older Man is Falling in Love with You
If you are a younger woman with an older man, numerous signs may indicate his feelings if you are willing to look.
And body language is an essential factor.
When an older man faces you, he gives you his undivided attention and is unmistakably interested.
In contrast, we rarely look at someone or pay attention when bored or disinterested.
Body language is only one way we signal our attraction and interest.
Let’s explore other ways to determine if an older man s falling for you.
1. He introduces his inner circle.
Dating a younger woman is usually newsworthy. But if an older man is in love, he is proud to introduce you to his family and friends.
He’ll introduce you promptly to quell any social commentary among his colleagues, family, and friends. But also to show the world he cares.
One caveat to meeting his inner circle early is when or if he introduces you to his children.
If he has asked you to meet his kids, even if they are adults, it is a good sign that he is serious about the relationship.
2. He is affectionate.
Older men do not worry about public displays of affection. They feel less awkward and insecure in relationships. This guy cares and wants you and everyone else watching to know it.
Holding hands and placing his arm around you when you walk are all signs of an older man falling in love with you.
3. He communicates regularly.
There is an old saying, “Out of sight, out of mind.” It means that we do not think about people, places, or things that are not priorities for us. It is how our brains are wired to help us manage our lives.
Communication and contact are forms of intimacy. When an older man checks in with you often, even daily, he is thinking about you.
And the chances are that he may be falling in love with you. Even if he doesn’t have anything new to say, he calls to hear the sound of your voice or touches base with an email.
4. He attempts to impress.
Many men believe they need to be providers – to be financially secure enough to take care of those they love.
An older man will attempt to prove his worth by talking about what he owns, whether it’s his investments or the latest money-making projects he’s working on.
It’s not braggadocious. He is proving his worth and showing you that he can care for you.
It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to buy your affection. He is showing you that his years of experience have paid off and that he can offer something most younger man can’t.
5. He tries new things.
Being present and attentive to your interests is a clear sign that an older man is in love.
He is willing to try new things, whether he opens a social media account, learns a new hobby, or is willing to experience a quirky food trend.
He respects you and your knowledge enough to listen to you. And he wants to be relevant so that you will be proud to be with him.
6. You are equals.
Older men value partnership. He seeks you out when he has to make a decision, even though his knowledge and experience are more extensive.
He respects you as a person and values your opinion. He treats you like an equal partner and recognizes the value of including you in important aspects of his life.
7. He is supportive.
An older man will be very supportive. He will offer you physical, emotional, and even financial support when he is in love.
These are not ways to control but an indication that he loves you and wants you to be well and happy. Through the good and the bad, he will be there.
8. He listens.
Men in love listen and pay attention. They listen to your fears or concerns and remember.
Men are also problem solvers—a sweeping statement but, most importantly, the truth. Older men, even more so.
They want to improve things by helping with advice, financial support, or a hug.
And the fact that he takes the time to give you his undivided attention as you share with him means he thinks you are worth it. This attentiveness is a sign that he is falling in love.
9. He is patient.
Older men have had other relationships, sometimes many of them. Some were probably good, and some not so good. With those experiences comes wisdom.
As a result, they know what they want and are willing to wait for what is important to them. Everything happens at its own pace, whether meeting family and friends or getting a key to your apartment.
If an older man is patient and willing to wait for you to feel comfortable, it is a good sign that he is falling in love with you.
10. He doesn’t flirt with others.
Everyone looks. It is part of human nature to admire the beautiful or unique. But flirting with other women when you are dating someone is hurtful and disrespectful.
When he is with you, if he refrains from flirting, taking calls, texting, or looking at every woman that walks by, it is one of the unmistakable older man attraction signs. He only flirts with you.
11. He is curious.
If a man is interested, he asks questions. Sometimes it may even feel like an interrogation – he wants to know everything about you. He also listens to the answers.
If an older man asks questions, it is a clear sign he wants to know more and develop a deeper connection. Getting to know a person is a form of flirting, but it is also a form of intimacy. And a lot of fun.
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12. He makes time.
Life is busy. But as you get older, you end up juggling hobbies, a career, kids, and more. For an older man, time is a luxury he can’t waste. Rearranging his schedule is a big deal in his world.
If you fall in love with an older man, you may notice that he’s unapologetically willing to alter his schedule for you.
Passing on this week’s game or clearing his meeting calendar for the day may also be a good sign he’s falling in love.
13. He acts himself.
We all try to put forth our most attractive selves in public, sometimes hiding thoughts and emotions. But around people we trust, like family and close friends, we can let our guard down.
If you are falling in love with an older man, you may see his authentic self – the side of him his co-workers or social bunnies rarely see.
With you, he doesn’t have to pretend. He feels safe expressing himself and his feelings. This vulnerability is a definite sign that he’s falling for you.
14. It’s not just sex.
Older men may be more passionate, but they also know that a relationship is more than physical. And loving the person you are physically intimate with completes the relationship bond.
Understanding the connection between the body, mind, and heart is one of the things that makes falling in love different when you are older.
You know that chemistry alone isn’t enough for a healthy, happy relationship.
15. He helps you.
Men want to be heroes – especially to those they care about.
When an older man falls in love, he wants to help his woman when she needs it.
And whether it is supporting your trek along the Appalachian Trail or fixing a leaky faucet, he needs to be useful and valued.
It is a biological imperative hardwired into DNA.
16. He expresses his feelings.
Older men know what they want – or what they would like to have.
Some may see this as a willingness to commit to a relationship. Others may point out that older men have less time to play the field.
So rather than losing a chance at happiness, an older man is more willing to open up and tell you he’s in love with you.
17. He knows your inner circle.
It is a meaningful sign when an older man asks to meet your inner circle – family and best friends. He may be concerned for you and possible comments regarding the age difference.
Or the relationship may have reached a point that he wants to gain the acceptance of those you trust.
Either way, meeting your family has merit and his willingness shows how much he cares about you.
What Do Older Guys Want in a Relationship?
Most people will mention physical attraction when commenting about a relationship between an older man and a younger woman.
But a study in the Journal of Science Advances found that women are most sexually desirable at age 18 but look most beautiful at 31.
And men are most desirable at age 50. Believe it or not, a bit of maturity matters.
Some older men may only be after sex or physical attraction – arm candy. But it has also been shown that men look for a life partner as they age.
They prefer women who are independent of thought or mind and are financially stable.
They also chose women:
- who are confident
- who are intelligent
- who are curious
- whom they respect
And one of the essential traits that older men prefer, regardless of the women’s age, is someone with a good sense of humor.
Dating a mature man is not for everyone, but if you are looking for a supportive lifelong partner, embrace the difference. Take time and listen. You will notice him open his mind and heart to you.